NYSC DIARY: [Port Harcourt Girl] My New Year Resolution and Why You Must Remain in Your Village

I met my Local Government Inspector, LGI today. It was our first meeting in person though i had met her countless times through the horror stories recounted by Batch A 2015 Corp members. There was no need for an introduction, i knew she was the one the moment i set my eyes on her.

She seems to scare almost everybody but somehow she doesn’t scare me- she tickles me. Her voice and overbearing attitude makes me remember all those Kalabari aunties who would rather be called ‘Sisi’. If you were to accidentally say ‘Good morning auntie’ when greeting them; they’ll descend on you and try to finish your destiny with swear words.

My LGI spent most of the morning complaining about the Christmas gifts she didn’t receive from corp members. She cussed amidst complains. Corp members giggled silently, i almost laughed aloud. It was really hilarious. Who intentionally buys gifts for a bully? . I pray she doesn’t read this…

Today was basically clearance, No community meeting – sorry, CDS. I hate CDS,most corp members i know also hate CDS- it’s a total waste of time. We spend most of the time fraternizing and adding very little to our community. Like most other parts of the NYSC, the CDS programme is crying for a complete makeover. I salute corp members before me who succeeded in doing big things through the CDS programme; you’re champions. For most of us, CDS days are chilling days. Show up at secretariat just to get your card signed and chat the day away until you’re set free. My dad thinks i should find a personal CDS project – I’m still thinking. I would love to add value to my community – but the ‘how’ is not adding up.

I’m sure some of you are consciously waiting to hear me announce my new year resolution. Well, i have no new year resolution- you’ve been scammed. There’s no such thing as new year, new me. My year doesn’t even begin on January 1st, it begins on my birthday. I only send and reply Happy New year messages because people tend to be emotional about things like that. Every progress is measured on the achievements between the last birthday and the next.

If you’re on holiday and yet to return to Lagos, please don’t come back. We are not missing you. Please stay wherever you are, Lagos roads are better off without you. The air is cleaner and everywhere is a bit sane. Support the future of Lagos by remaining in your village. God bless and prosper your farmland, Amen!


Source: Nigerian Bulletin

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