NYSC DIARY: [Port Harcourt Girl] The Thing About the Office Bathroom

I’m self-conscious in a way most people hardly ever notice. To the world I’m a confident urban woman but in my heart I’m that little girl who soiled her undies in Nursery 3 (gist for another day). I hate the office bathroom. It’s super clean and modern but I still hate it.

The bathroom door is just by the office and everyone can see who goes in there, we can even hear the toilet flush – there lies the problem. Whenever I have to use the bathroom, I try to delay the process for as long as possible. I’m scared my colleagues will hear every grunt and trickle though I never hear theirs’. I’m worried they may be trying to guess what I’m doing in there – pee or the other thing? .

Other than the office toilet, I think I’m almost cool with everything here. The only other thing that troubles is having to come out to work every day. People like me were born to conquer the world from their bedrooms – my boss disagrees. Coming to work in the morning is particularly annoying because of the traffic jam I have to encounter. The only way to avoid the traffic jam is by leaving home on or before 5:45am. That way I get to the office in maximum 30 minutes and spend the spare time admiring my face in the mirror just in front of my desk ; yes, I’m vain. My skin hasn’t been on fleek since I left camp but it’s gradually bouncing back; thanks to @ese and her wonderful advice.

Sometimes I love the traffic jam especially when there’s drama on the way. The other day, a passenger suggested we beat up the bus driver and his conductor for trying to overload the bus. I Swear! I was impressed. The beating didn’t happen but I loved the passengers in that bus. Everybody refused to make space for the extra passengers. The driver and his conductor kept threatening to drop us by the road side and passengers kept threatening to beat them up.

Lagos Bus drivers and the evil genius called conductors are something else. Last Wednesday, I was rushing to church for midweek service, told the conductor where I wanted to stop. They ended up dropping me far away because there was traffic jam around my destination and they didn’t want to get stuck in it. Poor me, I had already paid the fare. I had to climb an okada to a junction close to my destination and trek the rest.

You’re probably wondering what happened to my camp friends. Well, I’ve been too busy trying to get my bearings. We talk on phone almost every day and chat when work permits. Real life is so hard, no time to hang out for now. Got an invite for an art exhibition tomorrow, not sure I’ll attend. It’s annoying dressing up and heading out just to look at art I can’t afford.

This weekend, VGC is my focus. I’ll jog on Saturday morning. Hoping I meet some hot sweaty males while I’m at it. In the evening, I’ll stroll round taking pictures of Christmas decorations. VGC at night looks like a small European town during Christmas. Everyone loves Christmas and they show it, i might just love Christmas again because of them.


Source: Nigerian Bulletin

To share your NYSC experience email nyscdiaries[at]corperwee.com.ng

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